as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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