im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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