I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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