well you can't waste a boner
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
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