no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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