when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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