I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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