I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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