I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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