***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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