Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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