Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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