you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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