she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize