true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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