I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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