Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
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Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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