Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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