tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize