I must be too annoying 4 u.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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