I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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