Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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