I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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