i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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