I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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