he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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