i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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