I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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