my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize