Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize