dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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