I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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