ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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