i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my being single is dangerous.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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