There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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