I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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