I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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