Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
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maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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