The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize