Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
whose parrot is this?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize