Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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