someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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