PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize