I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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