No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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