6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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