He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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