hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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