He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
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Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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