Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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